Coming to the conclusion that your marriage is over and headed for divorce can be an emotional and stressful process. However, oftentimes, there are signs leading up to a divorce that the marriage is in trouble and may be over. Here are few of the signs:
- You feel apathetic. You may feel like you are no longer in love with your spouse, or the marriage isn’t worth fighting for anymore. There is no more “spark” in your relationship.
- You avoid being together with your spouse. This may mean coming home when you know your spouse will not be home, or no longer going out together as a couple. However, the time has come where you prefer to do things and go places without your spouse.
- Your spouse is liquidating assets. If your spouse has started to liquidate or transfer assets that you have a marital interest in, then it may be a strong indication that your spouse is planning to leave you and is trying to avoid giving you what you would normally be entitled to in a divorce. Another indication is if your spouse begins transferring assets into your children’s names, instead of your name, and trying to pass it off as estate planning.
- You have had an affair, your spouse has had an affair, or you think about having an affair. When you and/or your spouse go looking for love and affection from people outside marriage, this a sign that the marriage is no longer working.
- You and your spouse fight when you are together. For the short periods you and your spouse do spend together, you fight frequently. This can be about many topics, including money, the children, infidelity, picking a fight “just because,” or a myriad of other reasons.
- You are trying to stay together for the kids. If you keep thinking to yourself that the marriage would have been over a long time ago if you did not have kids, and you are trying to make it work for the kids’ sake, then this is a sign that your marriage is in trouble.
- You and your spouse have different goals in life. If, when you married, you and your spouse had the same or similar goals in life, and now you are headed down two separate paths, and you can’t find a way to reconcile those different lifestyles and goals, then this is another sign your marriage could be in trouble.
- You dream of a life as a single or divorced person. If you start wondering “what if” and wondering what your life would be like had you never been married to your spouse, or if you did, in fact, divorce.
Just because these signs exist in your marriage, it does not mean that you are necessarily headed for divorce right away. There are always different things spouses can try to keep the marriage intact. This can include marriage counseling and therapy, or even a trial separation.
But ultimately, if you feel that the marriage can’t be saved, that is when you must consider whether it is time to divorce. The divorce process has many options, which include mediation, uncontested divorces, and contested divorces. In speaking with a knowledgeable divorce attorney or certified divorce mediator, you can learn about your options for divorce, and what option(s) may be best for you.