How to Discuss a Prenuptial Agreement with your Fiancée

Have you been thinking about discussing a prenup with your fiancée? Do you want to have one? Are you concerned that your future spouse or their family wants you to have one?

A prenup (prenuptial agreement) is usually the last thing that an engaged couple wants to think about. However, it can be a valuable tool. Some recent research from North Carolina State University suggests that you might not want to use the actual terminology but try to use a metaphor to talk to your partner about the topic.

“Many people view prenups as being negative and argue that they indicate a lack of faith in the marriage from the outset,” says author Lynsey Romo, an associate professor of communication at NC State.

Because of the sensitive nature of the topic, and most couples’ unwillingness to discuss the topic, it has been difficult to do in-person interviews about prenuptials. Part of the impetus to do the study was that there is not much research on how people navigate prenups, whether it’s how they introduce them or discuss them.

To help in their research, the authors turned to the anonymous platform of Reddit to learn more about how people view prenuptial agreements. The study analyzed 586 Reddit threads containing 26,450 comments related to prenups.

People are firmly split between how they view a prenup. Some see it as an exit ramp to a quick divorce, and something that only spouses who are already on rocky territory might do. While others view it as a business contract and something similar to insurance.

“Nobody plans on crashing their car, getting cancer, or having their house burn down but they still get car, health, and home insurance,” one commenter says.

Another user went as far as to compare prenups to car airbags.

“Getting a car with airbags does not mean you don’t also make sure you have good brakes and tires. Smart people do all the above; only crazy people say if you get airbags, you’re jinxing it or are not committed to making things work.”

Millennials are more likely to choose a prenup because many have seen the consequences of many of their parents’ divorces and have a host of generational specific concerns such as student loans, social media usage, embryo ownership, etc. that impact how divorce proceedings may go.

It is good to view prenuptial agreements as insurance or smart business decision and use metaphors when talking about potential problems that can arise. This open communication can let everyone know where they stand.

If you are thinking about a prenuptial agreement and you have questions, contact a firm that handles a lot of prenuptial agreements at Amaral & Associates P.C. so that you can understand how prenuptial agreements can work for you. If you reside in Massachusetts, please call Amaral & Associates, P.C. at (617) 539-1010 or visit us at for information about what your next steps should be.


Photo credit: – Multiracial boyfriend and girlfriend reading book on sofa at home

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