Are you going through a rough patch in your marriage and considering a divorce? It’s possible that you might be able to get a “sleep divorce.” Jacqueline Newman, matrimonial attorney and author of The New Rules of Divorce: 12 Secrets to Protecting Your Wealth, Health, and Happiness, has written about how some couples may benefit from a “sleep divorce.” Perhaps one spouse keeps the other up all night with constant snoring or one always pulls the covers off the other spouse. Other issues may include opposite schedules, restless leg syndrome, misaligned body temperatures, and just different sleep patterns. These types of issues lead to sleep deprivation for either one or both spouses.
In a “sleep divorce” a couple might decide to sleep in different rooms or different floors for the health of their relationship. According to a survey conducted by SleepStandard, 35% of couples interviewed in the study are thinking of sleeping in separate beds while 12% of couples have actually gone through with a sleep divorce. The National Sleep Foundation found that 38% of people said their relationship was impacted by their partner’s sleep disorder.
A “sleep divorce” may sound like a scary prospect, but it’s important to remember that it doesn’t have the same impact as a traditional divorce. In fact, a sleep divorce can actually strengthen your relationship. When both partners are well rested, and have alone time for reflection and relaxation, they are better equipped to deal with other relationship conflicts. This time away from your partner could make you appreciate their presence more. With a good night’s sleep, cognitive abilities and overall health will be better, which can contribute to a less strained relationship. A study by Penn University Health found that if just one partner was sleep deprived, it contributed to overall relationship troubles like cynical emotions and poor conflict resolution.
With their own space, individuals have the ability to control their sleeping environments too. Prefer a more firm mattress than your spouse? Always wanted to try a weighted blanket? Do you need a white noise sound machine to fall asleep but it annoys your partner? Now you have the option to make your sleeping environment more optimal to get a good night’s rest.
Intimacy comes in many forms, and while sleeping next to your spouse can have its benefits, it doesn’t have to be the end all be all of intimacy. Making an effort to schedule couple’s time whether that be at breakfast, or for a nightcap will assure you keep your spark alive.
If you are considering a sleep divorce, be sure to bring up the idea in a neutral environment (i.e. not the bedroom) and make sure that is a mutual arrangement. Before jumping straight to separate bedrooms, there may be alternatives to consider, like ear plugs or two beds in the same room.
Marriage is filled with compromise and that may include altering your sleeping arrangements.
If lack of sleep is the least of your problems and you feel the marriage has ended and you want a qualified Divorce Attorney based in the Boston area, then contact Amaral & Associates PC today. We have offices located in Boston and Winthrop and can be reached at (617) 539-1010 today.