Thinking about a divorce. Concluding that your marriage is over and that you are
headed for divorce can be an emotional and stressful process. However, oftentimes,
there are signs leading up to a divorce that the marriage is in trouble and may already
be over. Important signs are as follows:
■ You feel apathetic. You may feel like you are no longer in love with your
spouse, or the marriage is not worth fighting for anymore. There is no more
“spark” in your relationship.
■ You avoid being together with your spouse. This may mean coming home
when you know your spouse will not be home, or no longer going out together as
a couple. However, the time has come where you prefer to do things and go
places without your spouse.
■ Your spouse is liquidating assets. If your spouse has started to liquidate or
transfer assets that you have a marital interest in, then it may be a strong
indication that your spouse is planning to leave you and is trying to avoid giving
you what you would normally be entitled to in a divorce. Another indication is if
your spouse begins transferring assets into your children’s names, instead of
your name, and trying to pass it off as estate planning.
■ You have had an affair, your spouse has had an affair, or you think about
having an affair. When you and/or your spouse go looking for love and affection
from people outside marriage, this a sign that the marriage is no longer working.
■ You and your spouse fight when you are together. For the short periods you
and your spouse do spend together, you fight frequently. This can be about many
topics, including money, the children, infidelity, picking a fight “just because,” or a
myriad of other reasons.
■ You are trying to stay together for the kids. If you keep thinking to yourself
that the marriage would have been over a long time ago if you did not have kids,
and you are trying to make it work for the kids’ sake, then this is a sign that your
marriage is in trouble.
■ You and your spouse have different goals in life. If, when you married, you
and your spouse had the same or similar goals in life, and now you are headed
down two separate paths, and you cannot find a way to reconcile those different
lifestyles and goals, then this is another sign your marriage could be in trouble.
■ You dream of a life as a single or divorced person. If you start wondering
“what if” and wondering what your life would be like had you never been married
to your spouse, or if you did, in fact, divorce.
Just because these signs exist in your marriage, it does not mean that you are necessarily headed for divorce right away. There are always different things spouses can try to keep the marriage intact. This can include marriage counseling and therapy, or even a trial separation.
But, if you feel that the marriage cannot be saved, that is when you must consider whether it is time to divorce. The divorce process has many options, which include mediation or uncontested divorces, and contested divorces. At Amaral & Associates P.C., you can speak with a knowledgeable divorce attorney or certified divorce mediator, and learn about your options for divorce, and what option(s) may be best for you.